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3 top tips if your child is being bullied

Your child comes home and tells you they’ve been bullied. Your mind races. Your only concern is their welfare. Here’s how to be the most help.

1. Let your child talk

This is about them, not you. Listen with empathy, validate what they say, and don’t interrupt. Stay calm, and thank them for telling you. Many kids keep it all to themselves.

2. Focus on solutions

Put your energy into two things: stopping the bullying, and helping your child recover from it. This isn’t a time for blame. Remind them you’ll work it out together.

3. Protect their self-esteem

The most important one. Tell them you love them, and that it’s not their fault. They should feel loved and understood, never criticised or judged.

Signs your child might be bullied

Most kids don’t say it out loud. We didn’t. It usually shows up sideways — in moods, habits and excuses. Watch for a change, not a single bad day.

• Not wanting to go to school, or sudden headaches and stomach aches on school mornings.
• Coming home hungry, with missing or damaged belongings, or unexplained marks.
• Going quiet, losing interest in friends, or dropping activities they used to love.
• Being jumpy or upset after using their phone, or hiding the screen when you walk in.
• Trouble sleeping, a drop in grades, or putting themselves down.

If you notice these, pick a calm moment — in the car or on a walk works well — and ask an open question like “How are things with your friends lately?” Then listen.

Seen bullying? How to be someone’s one

We got through school because we had each other’s backs. You don’t have to be a hero to be that for someone. Small things count.

• Don’t join in or laugh. An audience keeps bullying going.
• Be there afterwards. Sit with them, message them, walk with them. It tells them they’re not alone.
• Tell an adult you trust. That’s not dobbing. It’s getting help.
• Only step in if it’s safe. Something as simple as “Come on, let’s go” can end it.

Bullied online? What to do

Online bullying follows you home, which is why it can feel so heavy. These steps help you take back control.

1. Don’t reply. A reaction is what they want.
2. Screenshot it. Save messages, posts and usernames with the date.
3. Report and block on the app or game where it happened.
4. Tell someone you trust — a parent, teacher or friend.
5. If the platform doesn’t act, report it to the eSafety Commissioner.

Getting your confidence back

Bullying tries to convince you that something is wrong with you. It isn’t. Confidence comes back the same way muscles do — a little at a time.

• Spend time with people who make you feel like you. One good friend is enough to start.
• Do something you’re good at every week — sport, music, gaming, drawing, anything.
• Notice the voice in your head. If you wouldn’t say it to a friend, don’t say it to yourself.
• Talk to someone. A counsellor, a coach or Kids Helpline. Asking for help takes strength.